Little Victories

I recently came across this blog (article, facebook status?) of a person ranting that people share too much on social media. I thought I might agree with them, until I realized a lot of their rants were against parents. Clearly, this person had no children because part of it was “Why do you need to tell me that so and so pooped in the potty today? Like I needed to know?!?! Keep that sh*t private!” While I can appreciate the clever double meaning in that sentence, I thought to myself, why not just close the status, or better yet, take anyone with children off of your friends page? Because honestly, unless the parent is going into too much detail about the actual poop in the toilet, I don’t see what is so offensive about it.

What I realized is that people without children may not understand the small victories that parents feel a sense of pride in. The fact that this is the first time your child used the toilet by themselves means you are getting closer to not spending 700+ dollars a year on diapers. When they sleep through the night by themselves means you might be closer to not looking and sounding like a zombie in the morning. The first time that they start using words, it means you don’t have to play the 21 guesses and three tantrums later to figuring out what your child is asking for.

Little victories with children seem to be so similar across all diversities. If it’s that your child sat mostly quiet through a meal at a restaurant means you may be able to go out to eat just a little more often. This is one of the rants that irks me the most. I know no one wants to sit and listen to a screaming child in a store, restaurant, or plane and believe me, it’s not just the people who are sitting around the child that don’t want that. For many parents, there is the sheer terror and embarrassment that sets in when a child picks the most inopportune time to pitch a massive fit. (And this fit, believe me, can come even after the child is fed, diapered, napped and feeling well. They are like an earthquake; they can strike without warning and can be as terrifying.) In general, I will pick my child up with a firm warning (hoping this will be the end of it) but sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it take me standing outside of my car with my child pitching a fit inside. (Granted, I’ll admit that there are some parents out there who believe that if they have to listen to it, then so should everyone else, but I think those parents are more rare.) I think all most parents are asking for is a little bit of understanding. Believe me, we didn’t want our child to throw a fit and embarrass us. Parents, just as much as anyone else, do deserve to have a night out, and they should be able to do it with their children and not have snide comments about a babysitter. (Do you know how much it costs these days for a babysitter?!?) All we are looking for is a little sympathy because it really wasn’t our intent to have any one’s night ruined. But, I’ll get off my soap box now on that. 

Some victories are even smaller than what most people would notice. The first time your two year old says, without prompting, that he loves you so much. The first time he eats the green bean (just one out of the 10 you have given him) means perhaps he’s learning to like new things. Or the first time he asks to go to the farmers market and yells “Ta-da!” when it’s open means you probably didn’t take him for too many fast food meals. 

The point is, most parents post on their social media sites, moments that they are proud of. Sure, to a person without kids, these pictures may not be as exciting as tweeting their dinner… but other parents usually understand and can relate, and really, that’s all we want. And hey, we might even post a picture of the last meal we ate or participated in.. but it’ll probably look like this.. 

Professional Poop Sniffer and other useless skills you can’t (shouldn’t) put on your resume.

I have heard (more than once) that being a mother is one of the most underpaid, under appreciated, yet most rewarding jobs one can have. I’m going to venture a guess that second to this is a teacher of any sort. It’s kind of like being a temporary mom to children while their parents are at work, especially in my case, where I take care of 4 little ones until my own two young ones get home from their schools. There are days, like today, when I have to remind myself that I really do love my job no matter how much I’m considering a career switch. As I scoured my bathtub, outdoor tractor, climber, and spot cleaned my floor from a diaper mishap, I realized how many skills I’ve acquired in the last 7 years of being a home child care provider that, while in their literal sense, wouldn’t be very useful in the business world could perhaps be made to sound more businesslike than they really are.

 

Skill #1. Like the title says, professional poop sniffer. That’s right, most of the time I can smell a dirty diaper a whole room away and more than likely know which child it is. (Gross, I know!)

Application in the real world: Being able to tell when someone is full of crap. In a room of people, know which ones should be “changed.”

 

Skill #2. The official snot wiper for the “snot brigade” (a term coined by a parent when three of the children all had a runny nose.)

Application in the real world: Cleaning up other people’s mess even when it’s a bit sickening to you.

 

Skill #3. Successfully getting 4 infants to sleep at the same time for nap time every day.

Application in the real world: Being able to cope through the screaming and tantrums in order to accomplish your goal.

 

Skill #4. Teaching children to share with their friends.

Application in the real world: Conflict resolution is probably one of the skills which can be taken in the literal sense, though hopefully you aren’t having to tell your workers not to knock over or spit on their contemporaries because they took their pen.

 

Skill #5. Tuning out annoying noises while being clued into the important stuff.

Application in the real world: Again, this is one which is actually quite useful. When a co-worker (or boss) is going off on you, it’s helpful to look like you are paying attention rather than thinking about what the special is for happy hour.

 

Skill #6. Anything needing to be accomplished within a 10 second time frame. (This includes taking a bathroom break.)

Application in the real world: Your boss will like that you never seem to be on a lunch break, bathroom break or coffee break.

 

Skill #7: Being able to set up activities according to a child’s age and abilities.

Application in the real world: Well, while you probably shouldn’t place “art activities” as a skill, you probably could use this knowledge to assess your co-workers and develop projects and jobs best suited to their skills. This is, of course, assuming that adults are as easy to read in their milestones as children are.

 

Well now as I look at the list, I can see that several of my skills could work in the professional business world, so long as I put the right twist on them. However, given that I would much rather have a two year old tantruming at me, since it is developmentally appropriate, I don’t think that I will need to be “classing” up my skills resume any time soon. =) 

A parent’s realistic expectation of New Year’s resolutions.

As a parent, we naturally want what’s best for the children. We want them to be happy, healthy, and most of the time clean. I really don’t believe in making resolutions, simply because I don’t want to feel like a failure when they fail. But if I were going to make some, I think it would look something like this and the approximate amount of time before it goes to the wayside after the start of the New Year which will be abbreviated as ADTF (approximate destruction time frame.)

1. Eat more dinners at the table together. No media, no homework, just family time.

A.D.T.F.: 2 weeks because then our schedule will pick up, the kids will decide they don’t want to eat what I’ve made or I get behind on cooking and the dinner isn’t ready until bed time.

2. Raise my voice less.

A.D.T.F: One hour. Probably won’t even make it through New Years day before my exorcist voice will be heard throughout the house.

3. Less T.V. For the family.

A.D.T.F.: I’ll be optimistic and say two weeks before my nerves are too shot and I tell my kids to please go and watch a show in their room.

4. More family outings

A.D.T.F.: I’m not sure what the expiration date will be on this one because it really is dependent on whether or not it actually starts.

5. Exercise more:

A.D.T.F.: One month, unless chasing the three year old to his room when he’s misbehaving count as more exercise. Because I don’t see that his tantrums will slow down anytime soon.

6. Have more date nights

A.D.T.F.: As much as I would love for this one to actually get off the ground, logistics are terrible! Finding a babysitter, a time when the kids aren’t sick, when we have money, and when we have the energy to do more than stare at each other from each side of the table and repeat the same old things about our day (which doesn’t make it any easier since my husband and I both work in the same field so there isn’t a scenario we haven’t seen and discussed before) is an almost (seemingly) mission impossible. I guess I’ll settle for getting the kids both down by 8 and settling back on the couch for a glass of wine and a movie.

7. Get the kids involved in an after school program of their choice.

This one doesn’t even have an expiration date because although I’d love to do this for them, the logistics of getting them to and from said activities when we have one car and I work 10 hour days is just a nightmare.

8. Blog more often

A.D.T.F.: a couple of months of being consistent. That is unless my children give me a lot more material which could be a blessing but may also be a curse, especially if they are anything like this blog here.

9. Laugh more.

A.D.T.F: This one I don’t see falling apart and probably the only one. My family and friends can always make me laugh and as I tell my kids, find the laughter in day. =) Happy New Years everyone!