Snakes….

Snakes.. I hate snakes.

Yes, I have to say that I rather agree with Indiana Jones on this sentiment. No, as a young adult, I did not fall into a train car containing snakes in order to have this sentiment. What I did do, however, was grow up in the desert where rattlesnakes and red racer snakes were quite common. Knowing that these snakes can be deadly, I think I inherited a good healthy fear of them.

Although the king snake which I almost stepped on and probably frightened the pee out of this afternoon might argue that my fear is not totally healthy or rational. But first, let me set the circumstances. I have little problem with snakes when I come across them in their natural habitat. Like, when I’m out on a trail run, I might jump to one side if there is a snake on the other, but in general, it’s little more than that. However, in the event that I find one unexpectedly slithering (eww.. even that word makes me cringe) in my living room that I almost step on.. I might scream like a little girl and will never be seen moving across my living room in the opposite direction so quickly. And when I say I think I frightened the pee out of him, I’m quite certain that’s what the little damp spot was on the carpet where he was before I had the sense to open the door and let him out. Seriously.. I don’t live in the boonies and I have to let a snake out of the house??!?!

After the slight panic and compulsive shivers of “Eww gross!” subsided, I began to realize that perhaps I’m not quite cut out to be the mom of two boys. I can’t tell you the number of times my oldest has brought lizards, frogs, rolly pollies, into our house. In general, I try to feign interest that “yes, that lizard is so very cool!” all the while thinking that if it gets loose the first thing I’m probably going to do is grab the nearest heaviest object and throw it at it. Hence the reason that I’ve developed the rule “NO REPTILES, AMPHIBIANS, RODENTS, OR INSECTS inside the house.” If one has a question if their creature of the day falls under this category, they are instructed to keep it outside until approval to cross the threshold is received.

Not that I’m always so girlie (but maybe tell that to my shoe collection in the closet…) There was another time involving a King snake where my instinct of how cool my child thought this would be to see completely (ok mostly, because I still said eww about a million times and even cringed a lot) overshadowed my dislike of snakes. And this king snake was much bigger than the one I found in my house today. (Thankful the one today was little.) I had two friends over when I spotted the king snake on the patio and pointed it out to them. Both of them (a guy and girl) jumped up to check it out, while I remained guard at the door to make sure it didn’t somehow know how to open the screen door and come charging at me. Both friends claimed not to be afraid of snakes, but after 20 minutes of both of them jumping around screaming like girls at the now rather agitated snake, I finally grew agitated enough to take matters into my own hands. After all, I had it clearly set in my mind that my kindergartner would love to be able to take this snake in for show and tell. Finding the biggest box I had on hand, which happened to be a hard plastic shoe box, I stepped out, past my still two giggling and wary friends and did the scoop and lid. Seriously, two seconds and I had that rather large king snake in the box. Of course, in the next seconds that followed, I equally was grossed out and proud of myself. I also duct taped the lid and placed a large rock on it to keep the snake from trying to push its way out. I may have also had nightmares that night about the snake somehow breaking out of the box and into my house, but hey, the joy on my child’s face when he got to carry that box into school was enough for me. And also, I will only catch a snake once in my life. The rest of the time, I will jump around all girlie like and perhaps utter a few profanities at it for being anywhere near me.

See.. clearly he wanted out as much I wanted him out. YUCK!!!