pst… you, yes you in that car next to me. You aren’t invisible.
I love how people think that they are invisible when they are sitting in their non-tinted cars next to you at the light or on the freeway or whatever. I mean, seriously, they’ve got to figure that they are invisible with some of the things I have seen other drivers do. Or maybe it’s just that they assume no one is paying attention. Let me assure you (if you are one of these types of drivers or even passengers) there is a great possibility that someone is watching you.
Now this is not to say that I haven’t had my share of double takes when i’ve been in the car. Usually, it’s not been directed at me (though a few times when I was going for a costume party mid year, yes, it has been directed at me) but the one who seems to attract the most attention is my husband. And it’s not in that “Hey, look at the model guy driving the car over there” type of way. Well, perhaps I should explain this first. My husband really likes vegetables. All kinds and mostly raw. I can remember one time when we were driving down the freeway and I was scarfing down whatever fast food meal it was, I couldn’t account for the number of strange looks I was getting. That was until I glanced over at my husband and saw that he was eating an entire large broccoli crown like it was cotton candy or something. I shook my head at him, wanting to duck down. I mean, couldn’t he at least pretend to be a normal human being and eat his broccoli in small pieces? (And he will do this with any vegetable. Whole bell pepper, beet, giant carrot. Thank God he hasn’t done this with an onion.) Seriously.. this is what the crown looked like that he was munching…
Anyways, I guess this really isn’t the most embarrassing of things other drivers could see one doing. I’ll run down my top 10 list of things I have seen other drivers/passengers doing.
10.) The guy with the handle bar mustache who was putting the wax on it in the car while at a light. Did he think he was Captain Hook?
9.) The girl who poked herself in the eye with her eyeliner when her driver (I’m assuming jokingly) rolled the car forward a bit and then stopped short.
8.) The guy who rolled down his window to hock a loogie which landed on the side of his car.
7.) The old man who sneezed a booger onto his steering wheel.
6.) The girl who was blowing kisses to herself and winking. I did glance in the back seat to see if maybe there was a kid who she was directing this towards. Nope.. but maybe she was rehearsing her grand entrance to her boyfriend or something?
5.) The truck driver whose cab read on the side that he liked to drive naked. Granted, thankfully I could only see from about chest up but that was indeed naked. And enough to make me shudder.
4.) The guy plucking his nose hairs. Ew.. really, don’t you have a bathroom you can groom yourself in?
3.) To all those people popping pimples. Gross!
2.) The mom who chewed the food and then handed it back to her baby.
And the number one spot goes to the dude my own 6 year old child said was disgusting. From the back seat, all I hear is “Hey, you shouldn’t pick your nose. Use a kleenex!” I glance over at the car next to me (since I knew I wasn’t picking my nose) and sure enough there was fully grown man totally going for gold. I mean, I think he could’ve itched his brain with how far up his finger was. It didn’t end there and unable to turn away from the debacle, I watched as he finally fished one out.. and… ate it. Yup, I kid you not. I don’t know if he heard my gag or felt my mortified stare at him but he glanced over and we made eye contact. I didn’t even look away as I shook my head in disgust and literally mouthed the word “nasty” at him. He did seem embarrassed as the light (finally) turned green and he jetted off quickly. I hope he never inflicts that scene on anyone else again.
Now, don’t get me wrong, in my observations of people, I have also seen many things sweet or funny. The child who leans in to kiss his mom or dad on the cheek, the friends laughing hysterically about who only knows what, or the car full that is rocking out as loudly as they can in the car and not caring who can hear them are all moments which have made me smile. What is the strangest, sweetest, or grossest thing you have seen from a neighboring vehicle?