The thoughts of a child…
There are many words/phrases that we as parents/educators totally see as the average, or if not the average, at least not abnormal in their daily routine. For example, while reading to a group, a teacher may just as nonchalantly between “I do not like green eggs and ham” insert the sentence of “Daniel, we don’t lick our friends” just as quickly followed by “I do not like them, Sam I am.”
I can remember one time while speaking to my mom during a break from working, I happened to call out “The pencil is not for your ear!” and then resumed my conversation. Naturally, my mother was a bit confused about why I would feel the need to tell her not to stick a pencil in her ear, after all, this is usually something that no adult should need to be told. It took her a few seconds to realize I was probably indeed talking to some children I saw.
Thinking about this subject made me recall some of the conversations that I have had with my own child. I’m sure that my life is littered with these kind of examples, ones I cannot remember which made me laugh or shake my head at the time, but here are a few which I actually had the foresight to write down.
Rylan: Mommy, can you play wii with me?
Me: No, I’m trying to make dinner (this was last night)
Rylan: (2 minutes later) Mommy, can you find my Nerf guns?
Me: No, Rylan, I’m trying to make dinner. Go look in your basket labeled toy guns.
Rylan: (30 seconds later)Mommy, can you shoot these with me?
Me: No, Rylan, I have to make dinner! Go find a way to entertain yourself.
Rylan (about 10 minutes later) Look, Mommy, I’m insaning myself!
Me: (Hesitating while I think about what he means.) Oh! Entertaining yourself, good job. Insaning is what you do to mommy.
Ry (looking very contemplative)
Me: What’s up buddy?
Ry: I think my penis is growing bigger. (pulls down pants to show me.)
Me: (No hesitation) Well, yes, when children grow, all parts of their bodies grow too. Now please pull up your pants.
Me: (thinking) I truly was destined to live in a house full of boys if this statement didn’t cause any kind of hesitation from me.
Ry: Mommy, how many stars are in the sky?
Me: I don’t really know. Billions, at least. I don’t think anyone knows for sure.
Ry: (with a tone of disbelief.) Well, I’m sure google knows. Why don’t you just use google next time.
3 year old Ry: Mom, where do babies come from?
Me: Where do you think they come from?
Ry: I think the mom swallows the baby until it’s big enough.
Me: That’s a good theory.
5 year old Ry: Mom, how do the babies get born?
Me: What do you think?
Ry: I think that they go to the doctors and it comes from their belly buttons. That’s why they have to go to the hospital.
Me: That’s a good theory.
7 year old Ry: Mom, how are babies born?
Me: How do you think they are born?
Ry: Mom, you realize that’s not an answer right?
Me (silently cursing that this redirection (misdirection?) won’t work any more.) Do you really want me to tell you? I don’t think you are going to like it.
Ry: Mom, it’s fine. You can tell me.
Me: (gives him the very pg rated version.)
Ry: (looking at me with disgust.) Ew.. MOM! That’s gross, don’t you ever say that to me again. Just ask me what I think.
Me: All right, agreed.
As both my children continue to grow, I really am looking forward to the many more conversations I will have with them in the future. Hopefully some of them will be embarrassing enough to share with any future mate. 😉