Boys and Noise
I once saw this little sign which read “Boy: noun for a noise with dirt on it.” Had I realized how true this would become in my life, I might not have found the sign as much funny as just harsh reality. My house is a haven for sound effects. Well, so is my car, my patio, anywhere in the general vicinity of where I might be standing. And no, it’s not because of me. I have an almost eight year old boy who cannot contain the explosion and whistling and missile sounds which come out of his mouth. I mean, seriously cannot control them. And this has been going on since the point he could make noise. I hold on hope to the fact that there might come a day when he doens’t have the urge to make noises but I highly doubt it.
I don’t doubt it because I’m a skeptical person.. okay, well maybe I am a skeptical person but the main reason I doubt it is because my husband is also a noise maker. Not crude sounds (all the time) but just a noise maker. He cannot stop himself from drumming on the wall, on himself, on the couch, on the table.. anywhere! I remember when I was pregnant with our first, he thought my rounded belly made quite the perfect drum. That didn’t last for long, needless to say.
For awhile, I thought that the increase in my man-child’s noise was due to our son who is the sound effects master. And then there came the trip when we went to Yosemite without our children. That was when I realized I could probably blame another one of my children’s annoying habits on him. (Along with the toilet seat, the inability to make a quick exit from the house, and leaving the clothes on top of the empty hamper… though they have gotten a bit better on most of these ones.) Every sentence which came out of his mouth was followed by a “bloop” noise. At first, I didn’t really hear it but once I did, I couldn’t fathom why he would do that? Was it that he missed our little noisemaker that much (we were only gone for 2 days!) Did he know how much sound effects annoyed me (I’m sure, he’s usually in the car when I repeat myself for the billionth time to stop making explosion noises) and since he’s a button pusher, figured that was entertainment enough for him? Or was it that boys just have to make some kind of non-verbal communication? Whatever it was, it made me wish that I had a pair of earplugs.
With the addition of our second child, I had the slight hope he would be the quiet one. Boy.. I don’t think I could’ve been much further from the truth. He is actually mastering the arts of sound effects earlier than his older brother, probably because that’s what he hears a majority of the time. And he is much more…. let’s say boisterous… in his delivery. Do you think they will still need the human factor in the sound effects department by the time my boys are old enough to work? It would be nice to put a positive spin on the noise which constantly fills my house and drives me almost to the brink of insanity.