Did you seriously just say that?
It will never cease to amaze me the types of things people (specifically strangers) think they can get away with when seeing a pregnant person in society. It ranges from things like “whoa, you look like you’re about to burst” (always great to say to someone who is 6 months pregnant) or “You know when I had my children…” (did I ask for your unsolicited advice?) or “Oh, your belly is just so cute!” (says a random woman in the grocery store and then put both of her hands on my stomach. My response was to ask her if she would be touching my belly if I wasn’t pregnant. Just because I had a baby belly didn’t mean she could invade my personal bubble without asking.)
But the best ones (and by this I mean to say, what the heck were these people thinking?) came when we were pregnant with our second child. Now I’ll admit part of me did want a little girl. I mean dresses are just so darn cute! And there was a slight moment of disappointment that we weren’t having a girl. But I love my boys and am secretly (or maybe not so secretly) glad for boys whenever I hear my friends with daughters complaining about the constant drama.
However none of my feelings, which I only disclosed to my closest friends, justified what I heard from STRANGERS how sorry they were when they would see I already had one boy and was having another. By this point, I had become quite happy with the prospect of having two boys because same sex siblings share something that opposite sexes do not. There’s just a bond and I can see it now, despite their gap in age. I would tell people when they would ask me if I knew what I was having and when I would say “boy”, there were many times that there came a slight incline of the head and a “I’m sorry, maybe next time you’ll have a girl” or “Whoa, two boys, that’s going to be a lot of work! Little girls are much easier” or “That’s too bad.”
The most offensive one happened at Costco and was very near the end of my pregnancy. I had already heard about how it was too bad I didn’t have a little girl because mom and daughter bonds are so special and by this time was probably over my limit with hearing it. As my husband and I were checking out and our oldest son was sitting in the cart, the lady checking asked if Ry knew what sibling he was having. With a big smile on his face, he proudly announced he was having a brother.
The lady then turned to me and, I kid you not, said “Oh, I’m so sorry. Two boys? I have the perfect family, one boy and one girl.” She said this without a hint of sarcasm and of this language I am well versed so I would’ve caught even the most subtle of traces.
Do people not understand you shouldn’t piss off a pregnant person? In my mind, the reaction would’ve been to climb over the counter and smack that smug look off her face. Out loud I said, with as much sarcasm as I could muster through some seething, “Well, congratulations on your perfect family.”
What is it about our society that you have to have the poster family? I mean, have you ever noticed that commercials, advertisements, even TV shows make sure that there is at least one boy and one girl in the family picture? I guess we have to have symmetry. But even if this is so, what the heck makes people think they can project their thoughts of what is ideal for them to someone else? After that, I just avoided answering people if I could and would answer “Do you know what you’re having?” with “Yes, a baby.” because getting arrested for assault (when the next person said they were sorry) was simply not on my docket of things to accomplish in my eighth month of pregnancy.
Just in case you’re wondering, that checker, who I probably should’ve complained about, still works there. And even now, two and a half years later, I avoid going to her line even if it means standing in one ten times as long. I guess I sure showed her what I thought of her perfect family, right?